They Might Be A Cheater If…

I had a shower thought today about all the red flags my soon-to-be-exhusband presented over the years that, looking back, I can see were obvious signs of cheating. Le Sigh. So for all of you fine people who aren’t sure if your partner is being a sketchball or just need a clue, read my list (and for the love of all that is holy, listen to your gut!!):

They might be a cheater if…

  • They always have their phone screen facing down “to avoid scratching the camera” LOL.
  • They always have their phone on silent or vibrate. I’m not even exaggerating when I tell you that I’ve never heard my ex’s phone make a single noise in 6 YEARS that we were together. Not a ring, not a text, nada.
  • They start “hanging out” with a friend or friends who they used to avoid. Notice the quotations because news flash: They’re not really with who they say they’re with.
  • They get out of work at 2pm and don’t come home until 11pm because they had “errands” to run. Another LOL.
  • They get too dehydrated to drive home at night. Yes, I fell for this.
  • They say they’re with Friend A but then forget their own lie and mention their time spent with Friend B. Oops. It’s all good – Stupid Wife fell for it anyway.
  • Their phone never displays messages/alerts/app notifications when in your possession. I didn’t realize until after he left me that he just turned off all notifications before handing it over to me.
  • They stress about purchasing a Halloween costume during a pandemic when no parties are being thrown. Except for the one she threw, of course.
  • They start spending more weekends away at friend’s cabin that they’ve never been to before. By friend’s cabin, he really meant her apartment.
  • They go “star gazing” when it’s overcast.
  • Their phone goes with them everywhere and is never left out in the opened.
  • They jump when you reach for something next to their phone. People, if they’re more protective of their phone than they are of you, you might have a problem on your hands. Rid yourself of that problem ASAP.
  • They have major surgery but still strongly insist of the phone being in their possession.

Just one tidbit of background: I never once looked through his phone. Not once did he ever catch me snooping. Never did I even threaten to do so! So why the sketchiness, bro??

Yes, lots of phone warning signs. I could kick myself for not seeing them sooner. The main take-away from this is to listen to your gut. I saw these red flags and ignored them completely. “But he loves me”, “He says I’m his best friend”, “He says that cheating disgusts him” are all things I’ve told myself over and over and over. LISTEN. TO. YOUR. GUT. It isn’t wrong.

Continue the “They might be a cheater” list in the comments – I’d love to read them. Stay woke, peeps 🙂

2 thoughts on “They Might Be A Cheater If…

  1. I think about this too! I’d add:
    1. Always stays up later than you
    2. Up in the middle of the night watching movies (my husband was swinging shifts for work)
    3. Always has his phone in his hand
    4. Any unaccounted for time
    5. He’s not emotionally affected by your struggles
    6. His attention wonders off in space when you’re talking

    I think we are thrown off by the “good” they do. For my husband it was a lot of church attendance and rigid rule-following. Like you, I never once checked his phone. I can’t be lice that.


    1. YES!! Every single one of these things can be applied to my situation. Always with the phone, always me having to repeat myself bc he’s not listening. The list doesn’t end. I hope you were able to get out – it’s a terrible way to live and you deserve better. Thanks for reading 🙂


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