I feel like I’ve turned a corner with my grieving. I spent the first weekend of spring at a family home on the water. The weather was beautiful, the company was great and I genuinely laughed more times than I can remember.
There’s something about springtime, this spring in particular, that makes me feel rejuvenated and hopeful. I can foresee good things coming my way. As if my intuition is telling me, “Oh girl, just you wait!” I’ll take it 🙂 Mind you, this is after having a couple of pretty hard days this past week. Days that included telling more people about my now 10 month-long marriage ending. It’s still embarrassing if I’m being honest. “Well that didn’t last long” is what I imagine them thinking as they listen to me tell my story. I can’t say that I wouldn’t think the same thing. Divorce is nothing to be ashamed of, but there’s something about announcing it as a newly wed that adds salt to the wound.
I also told him that I hired a lawyer. I wish I could say that I remained a strong presence during that phone call, but that would be a lie. Instead, I chocked back tears and he seemed completely nonchalant about it. He’s getting what he wants, so why would I expect any sort of reaction?
Nonetheless, I’m proud of myself for how far I’ve come. I can feel my old self coming back in an even more prevalent way. Somehow I have all this confidence now that I dreamed of having my whole life. Where did this all come from? Trust me, I’m not complaining.
Heres my #justmyluck story of the week: I was driving when I noticed a crack in my windshield about half an inch long. Old me would have yelled a bunch of profanities and then allowed this to effect my mood for the rest of the night. Not this time though – now I’m cool, calm and collected. The new me, right?
So I pull into the Target parking lot to pick up some items for the week and decide to check out this windshield crack. “Great” I think to myself. I stick my finger into the crack to see how deep it is (don’t ask me why I did this, because I couldn’t tell you) and then sheer panic kicked in. This was no crack. It was fucking bird shit. I stuck my finger in bird shit. You can bet that this resulted in profanities.
After vigorously wiping bird shit off my finger, I walk into Target and start bathing my hands at the hand sanitizer station right at the entrance. I had a one-track mind. “Uh…ma’am, you need to wear a mask.” Horrified, I look up to see a teenaged employee quickly approaching me. How the HELL did I forget to put my mask on? I apologized profusely as I tried walking out of the entrance door, which wouldn’t open for me. I felt like a feral cat trying to escape captivity. The employee saw how mortified I was and couldn’t be any nicer. He graciously handed me a disposable mask as I’m thinking to myself “please don’t accidentally touch this poor kid with your poop hand.” Mission accomplished.
I ended my day laughing at my own expense, being grateful that I can now let these types of ridiculous scenarios roll off my shoulders and looking forward to my future. I’ve definitely had worse Sundays.
What was your #justmyluck moment this week? Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will share your stories on my next post.