February 19, 2021
So here I sit, finally typing the words of my first blog post which I never thought would come to fruition. To say that life has been unfair to me would be a vast understatement. Just when I think I’ve reached my quota for life’s bullshit, something else happens. It can be absolutely debilitating, and it can knock the air right out of me. BUT every time life kicks my ass, I get up again *cue Chumbawamba soundtrack* and I somehow am able to pick up the pieces with a (healthy?) mixture of sass, sarcasm and dark humor.
Humor is so important to me. When I laugh – genuinely laugh – a small piece of myself is restored. I’m starting this blog as I endure a new chapter in my life: Divorce. That’s right, I lost my very best friend and the love of my life to, what I will vaguely describe as, the mess that was 2020. A global pandemic, social injustice issues and a divisive presidential election (you know, just to name a few things), apparently don’t mix well for a newly married couple trying to start a life together. We (he) decided that divorce is the only option at this point. I really can’t get into the details now, simply because it’s too painful (perhaps one day). To say that the past week – wait – three months has been emotionally and even physically draining is, again, a vast understatement.
So why am I bringing this up if I don’t want to talk about it? Don’t you worry, I have plenty of trauma to refer to. But my point is, despite my whole world crumbling around me, I’ve surrounded myself with people who listen to me, who cry with me and who challenge me to show up for myself. They remind me of who the hell I am: A woman of resilience and grit. Also, and maybe most importantly to me, they make me LAUGH. Two nights ago was the first time in weeks that I heard myself laugh. It almost took me by surprise, as I haven’t heard that sound in a long time. And then it happened again today: After a 28 minute phone call with my cousin, I found myself hysterically laughing at our stupid inside jokes at the expense of our family members (in the best way possible – If you’re Italian or belong to any culture with overbearing yet loving and slightly psychotic relatives, then you know).
Here’s my point: Life sucks. And though it’s unfair, we are the ones who have to clean up the messes that we didn’t even make ourselves. It’s like when your little sister makes a mess in the toy room and then your parent screams at you, the oldest, who was quietly coloring at the corner table the whole time, to clean up because it is still somehow your fault.
I’m here to share my life stories and to make you somehow feel a little less alone, similarly to what my support system has done for me. If you don’t have a support system, let me be that person for you. Sometimes it’s easier talking to and taking advice from a stranger (take it from me, as someone who kept the first month of mine and my husband’s separation a complete secret from everyone with the exception of total strangers on Reddit).
I am a school counselor, an empath (which I sometimes hate) and contain way too much wisdom for someone my age (here’s a hint: I grew up watching Rugrats in Paris on an orange video tape). I will not let life steamroll me – and you shouldn’t allow that for yourself either. Although we can’t physically be together, I hope you read my posts envisioning us sitting on your couch with a full class of Pinot (or maybe that glass is filled with half Pinto, half tears – whatever), talking shit, but most importantly empowering each other.
We’ve got this, people! If you need a friend or just want to leave some love, please do not hesitate to email me: MeggPetersLuck@gmail.com.